When I will be a Millionaire

millionaire, becoming rich, saving for retirement

To her credit, she did manage to get to the studio ALL BY HERSELF.

I have spent the last four years working post-college, and the last fifteen years dreaming about being a millionaire.  Prior to actually working for a living, I would calculate when I would become a millionaire constantly.  Did you know that if you make up a bunch of numbers based upon a skewed world-view you will be a millionaire when you are thirty?  Apparently, my younger self would call my current self a deadbeat, as I am way below his mark.  Well, that guy was a dick anyway.  I wouldn’t work for him if he paid me.  Well, maybe if he paid me.  Wall Street, have you invented an investment vehicle for that yet?

Why I Want to Become a Millionaire

Currently I am obviously much more patient.  If I wasn’t, I would have thrown myself out a moving car by now.  If you aren’t worth a million by the time you’re thirty, life just isn’t worth living, right?  Truth told however, becoming a millionaire hasn’t lost its luster to me.  As I when I was into Jncos, I still recognize the freedom a million dollars brings.  Off interest alone, a modest life could be achieved.  Work where and when you want; or at all.  Stress over things on your terms, not forced agendas.   Become a Republican.

The Millionaire Calculator

I recently read a few postings by other finance bloggers (do we get hats?) tracking when they will become millionaires.  Apparently the millionaire calculator on cgi.money.cnn.com is popular, because it allows for both taxed and tax-differed savings and growth.  I tried it out.  I will be a millionaire in nine years, at age 37.  I sat and looked at the screen, thought about it and realized this is nonsense on a multitude of levels.  As some of my readers know, kids change more than just your sex life: they are expensive too.  Since pesky child labor laws won’t let them chip in, you have to flip the whole bill[1].  Furthermore, the calculator doesn’t take into account future pay raises and thus future increases in savings, or the occasional “stand out” year of returns, where this “stand out” year takes place in your ach towards becoming a millionaire, and so on.   The calculator has some issues, is what I am getting at.

A true millionaire calculator would:

  • Take into account future savings and expenses increase
  • Passive income increases, and what is done with this passive income (invested, spent, laundered, whatever)
  • Alternative investments, such as real estate or businesses
  • Pre-and post-tax accounts
  • Future tax rates
  • More things I am not smart enough to think of right now

I decided I would try to create such a calculator in excel, and give it to everyone who “likes” Snarkfinance on Facebook and joins the email list.  Well, I suck because I haven’t done that yet.  If nine years is considered the “baseline” for me here, my gut tells me I can do better.   I have real estate investments currently and in the future that should perform, and a fiancé who just started working and who’s salary should be increasing rapidly over the next five or so years (mine as well)[2].  I should be on track to besting nine years, or at least reaching a passive income level that affords me financial independence, although I clearly cannot put any exact figures on anything.  I guess I am overconfident and under calculated.  My Jncos wearing former-self would approve.

Would a calculator such as the one described be useful to you?  Let me know by dropping me a line via email or leaving a comment below.

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[1] I wasn’t sure if everyone knew that.

[2] If a sell enough coke… I mean, well, forget that

About Mitchell Pauly

Mitchell Pauly is a humorist, financial professional and entrepreneur. Follow him @Snarkfinance, and be sure to check out his website- Snarkfinance.com. You can learn more about him by visiting his Google+ profile.

Comments

  1. Marry someone who is a millionaire. That’s the best way.
    P.S. a million dollars doesn’t buy much these days.

    • I would marry someone wildly rich if I could, unfortunately for my bank account, but fortunately for everything else, I am engaged to a wonderful lady of modest means. We are in it together. P.S: a million is still a lot of money for those living modest, frugal lives that avoid significant lifestyle inflation. If someone was living on roughly $60,000 annually, a million or more would not need to grow by a wild amount to provide a significant safety net and a work-optional lifestyle. The figure is more of a milestone than a magic number.

  2. Kids don’t have to be that costly, and can in fact save you money!
    Now I have a toddler I can’t go out clubbing, I don’t get to eat out, I can’t drink heavily if I want to, I go to bed early, I have a sensible car, I spend much more time around my parents’ house etc. etc. LOL

    There are upsides though. He’s much funnier to watch than than the TV

    • You know, I have always felt this way. Kids are a choice, as are many of the expenses associated with them (like food?). Honestly, just don’t buy them that balloon at the super market, even if they throw a tantrum. They likely wont the next time. All this is the opinion of young man without any kids at all, of course.

  3. I also would like to know when I will become a millionaire too, but then I realized those calculated stuff may not be that accurate, I just need to work on it as much as I can, and if luck is really on my side, I could become one as soon as possible.
    Mark Ross recently posted…Best Thing You Can Do With Your Saved MoneyMy Profile

  4. If and when I hit the million dollar mark in the bank, it will almost certainly be in my retirement savings.

    I don’t think I will ever get there in my day to day savings.. I just value life experiences far too much to store away that much money!
    jefferson recently posted…Irregular vs. Emergency ExpensesMy Profile

  5. As Ron Swanson would say, “Child labor laws are ruining this country.” I kid, of course… The more I read about the cost of kids the more my tubes want to just tie themselves up, no surgery required. Perhaps in the next 9 years some biological clock will turn on and I’ll want to spend the money. Or maybe I can hope to hit the millionaire mark before I bring life into this world…
    Broke Millennial recently posted…Why Losing $1,000 Per Year is a Big DealMy Profile

  6. Having children changes everything. With kids, even with $1M what would you do differently? I think that is the better question. I’m older now and have saved etc but with children the options aren’t what they might be if I were single with $1M. Considerations of healthcare, college funds, braces, etc. all factor in.