Porn Hate Rubs Me the Wrong Way

Porn hate, topless women

This is not porn, but a protest photo from the Ukraine. Also, this is an example of a great protest.

Back after some time off… but from here on out its going to be a little more sporadic here at Snarkfinance.  This doesn’t make me any money really, so this is hence forth being relegated to hobby status… meaning you will get a new article when I have the time to post one.  I work insane hours in finance, run a personal training business, a real estate business, and compete nationally in snowboarding.  So the decision was made to focus on activities that make money.  This has not been one of them.  Some bloggers make decent money, 98% do not. I make a few hundred dollars a month on Snarkfinance when I am putting in the time… but for that same amount of time I can make over a thousand on other activities.  Can you blame me?  On the upside, the articles will be more “who gives a fuck” than ever before.  I now have less to lose.  

So on to porn!

I have spent more time watching porn than I have cleaning my own house, which may explain why my cat is stuck to the wall.  I think of porn all the time: in between carpal tunnel rehab appointments, while I get my computer fixed, and whenever a new smart phone comes out with a larger, higher-definition screen.  Porn can be all consuming.  That said, the popular (public) opinion of porn is ripe with hypocrisy and contradiction like Jesse Ventura’s world views.  13% of internet traffic is porn-based, but we vilify anyone who openly talks about porn or, God forbid, has been involved in porn[1].  America is currently treating the topic of porn like Southerners treat the topic of homosexuality in their families—we acknowledge it exists but hope that not talking about it will make it go away.  Well, I am here to say shame upon you all.

I hope your hypocrisy blows up in your face, and I hope some gets in your eye.  And I hope it burns a little.

 Porn Hate is Anti-Women’s Liberation

Women’s liberation is cute, but it has driven significant changes in society.  Women are now free to do most anything they want (except drive my car and become doctors)[2].  However, the fight over a women’s body continues, as evidenced by the column of Catholics that line the Planned Parenthood in my neighborhood like a form of holy birth control.  Here is the hypocrisy: while a recent Gallop poll found that 52% of women in America are pro-abortion in at least some circumstances and 60% of women watch porn, good luck finding one that has a high opinion of women in porn.  This is like saying, “you can have an abortion but we can’t be friends afterwards”.  The tonality is in contradiction with the sentiment, like Jewish guilt (“no, it’s fine.  Of course I can do all chores in the house.  You enjoy television!”).  This contradiction weakens women’s liberation: “we can do anything!  Here is a list of what we don’t want you to do”.

 Porn Hate is Sexism Combined with Self-Hate

Robert DeNiro embodied Jake LaMotta in Raging Bull as an animal of a man fighting the many demons within him.  Men are the worst offenders when it comes to porn hypocrisy.  We watch more of it than women, fantasize about insane sexual acts, spend a disproportionate amount of time trying to sleep with women in the most lewd ways possible, and then desire a women who somehow slipped through the cracks of all that—to which we will propose and marry.  “I will watch you in porn, enjoy it and bookmark your videos but don’t touch me, you slut” seems to be the popular and sexist sentiment among those with meat flutes.  How is dating a stripper, but not taking her home to your family any different from dating another man, but not taking him home to your family?  If we are going to embrace a culture of porn and sexuality with one (busy) hand, it is hypocritical to wag a finger at it with the other.

 Porn is a Contradiction

I recognize that porn is an organic contradiction to itself.  It exists in a grey area within our society: legal, but disrespected.  There is porn shot professionally with willing participants, and there is porn that skirts the line with snuff film.  It isn’t helping itself, from a moral standpoint.  However there will always be such line-skirting because there will always be a market for kink.  Perhaps that illustrates what we hate about porn the most—it is an industry that takes the American spirit to a logical extension, making us love what we hate about ourselves.



[1] This might seem like a small-ish number but compared to any other type of search it is massive.  Also bear in mind most people type in their favorite porn-site directly, and don’t use search.

[2] I may be misinformed there.

About Mitchell Pauly

Mitchell Pauly is a humorist, financial professional and entrepreneur. Follow him @Snarkfinance, and be sure to check out his website- Snarkfinance.com. You can learn more about him by visiting his Google+ profile.

Comments

  1. I’m not a feminist, nor am I particularly religious. However, porn bugs me. To me, it just perpetuates negative sterotypes and the sexualization of women.

    On the other hand, it’s a free country. Spank away, my friend.
    Holly@ClubThrifty recently posted…Keeping Up With the Joneses: Our Frugal Yard RemodelMy Profile

  2. I don’t care so much about porn. I don’t mind it either.
    Kathryn Dilligard recently posted…http://www.thesiteowl.comMy Profile

  3. People aren’t “pro-abortion”, they’re pro-choice with abortion being one of mainly three choices.

  4. “…and there is porn that skirts the line with snuff film. It isn’t helping itself, from a moral standpoint. However there will always be such line-skirting because there will always be a market for kink. Perhaps that illustrates what we hate about porn the most—it is an industry that takes the American spirit to a logical extension, making us love what we hate about ourselves.”

    I think it’s interesting that you say that a lot of the kink community, or at least the porn that skirts the line of a snuff film “isn’t helping itself.” I view that as giving the people what they want. What do you think the Roman Gladiators were? Giving the people what they wanted. Some people are into BDSM, some people like cosplay, others are into furries or the cheerleader roleplay. Other people like the good old standard “I’m here to fix the cable…”

    If that isn’t your thing you should just avoid it. I’m not into religion so I avoid church. I have nothing against it for other people. I actually think it’s great other people are into it, it’s just not for me.

    Your viewpoint of porn being a contradiction is your viewpoint (which unfortunately, is somewhat widely shared). I think that if our society was just more open minded about certain topics then they wouldn’t be taboo anymore. Some places in South America or in Europe are more open minded about porn, they don’t freak out over a “wardrobe malfunction” because their societies don’t chastise sex as much as ours does. Hell, we’re not even allowed to talk about how much money we make here because that’s taboo too.

    I also think that it’s interesting that you view the kink community (or maybe I misinterpreted you, maybe you were referring to our society as a whole rather than just the kink community) as people who don’t like that part of themselves. I think it’s a very misunderstood community with many people who just “know what they like, and do it.” Perhaps it’s because I live in San Francisco, perhaps it’s because I date a therapist who works heavily with the kink community trying to de-pathologize peoples beliefs of the kink community.

    BDSM stands for various things:
    Bondage and Discipline
    Domination and Submission
    Sadism and Masochism

    You don’t have to be into every part of them but many people are. I personally know some people who are very dominate and controlling in their everyday lives, but what really gets them going is submitting all control to someone else, whether that be having to obey orders or being tied up for someone else’s desires. There are also people that are the reverse, they are quiet and submissive in their everyday lives but really get off having control over someone else. Sometimes people desire that contradiction.

    Many people that are married don’t understand their partners and end up getting divorced. How well do you think you understand a complete strangers sexual desires? I’m all for porn, I think there’s nothing wrong with it, any of it. I might not understand some fetishes but to each their own.

    I mean… I bet you’re into some kinky shit too. :)
    Zee @ Work-To-Not-Work recently posted…Learning From Our Mistakes: How to Kill ZombiesMy Profile

    • I get the sense you feel I am arguing against porn, in which case you would be the first person who read this post and came away with that conclusion. I am stating that people who don’t like porn are hypocrites because porn speaks to our base instincts… something no one can escape. I have worked in the porn industry in a business capacity (very briefly), so I certainly wouldn’t argue against it. I would say that while I certainly agree “to each their own” there is no denying porn effects the mind in positive and negative ways. Its a complicated subject, which is why it is interesting.

  5. I didn’t feel like you were arguing against porn, in the top of your post you really run it home about how you appreciate it. I guess it was more about how you wrapped up porn by saying that it was a contradiction. That the nature of it is that we love it and hate it at the same time. I think that it’s more that our society makes us embarrassed to admit that we like certain things, and that’s the issue.

    Porn simply is what it is, it’s the person viewing it that turns it into something else, positive or negative.
    Zee @ Work-To-Not-Work recently posted…When Was Your Sewing Machine Moment?My Profile