Pickup Tips and Interview Tips, Part 2

Interview Tips

It has been a while since I posted Pickup Tips and Interview Tips, Part 1 , in which I interviewed my friend Doug in regards to his super human ability to pick up women despite having the physical appearance of Golem on a bad hair day.  Seriously, people who look like Doug are so below average they couldn’t have sex with a bell curve.   I received many emails expressing a desire for part two, and since my fiancé was out of town last weekend I thought I would take the opportunity to meet up with Doug and glean a little more of his carnal knowledge, to convert to interview tips.

Have an “ace in your pocket” to pull out when the time is right. 

No, Doug is not referring to a condom.  An “ace in your pocket” is a reference to a phrase or sentence that is rehearsed, tested and thoughtful that realigns the conversation towards your desired destination.  In Doug’s case this is his pants, in yours it is applying interview tips to get a job offer.  Doug will talk with a women in a semi-rehearsed fashion prior to this “ace in the pocket”, allowing things to meander as needed.  When the time is right, he will interrupt a girl mid-sentence and, looking as sincere as possible, simply state, “God you look beautiful”.  “This melts the panties right off of them” he says.  In an interview application, interrupting your interviewer is likely as good an idea as replacing Doug’s line with, “let’s go to an empty stall in the bathroom.”   Still, learn how to identify an opportunity in the interview to insert your “ace in the pocket”.  This should be added to your list of favorite interview tips.

Examples of “ace in the pocket” interview lines:

1)      “The spirit of innovation here, as evidenced by XYZ product, truly sets this company apart from its competition” open the door to detailing your intimate knowledge of the company your interviewing with as well as its competitors, and the competitive landscape in general.

2)      “I think this company is making a great decision buying back 20% of outstanding stock, as outlined in your last 10K release” shows that you have done your research on the company and its plans, as well as displaying an understanding of the various uses of capital.

3) Know a few funny business quotes... appropriate ones.

Be aware of your facial expressions, and match the expression to the statement.   

This is a tip from the 202 level class of picking up women, which Doug wrote the text book for.  This guy is so methodical he is literally choosing the facial expressions he uses pending the routine being implemented (in pick up artist circles this is called using a “canned routine”).  This is a member of the “important interview tips”.  Often time’s people overly focus on the words they choose, rather than how to emote non-verbally to communicate their intended meaning.   “I stutter on purpose if I am talking about a complicated subject, to imply my brain is humming along faster than I can speak”.  Or “I will work the punch line of a joke or the pacing of a story, along with my facial features to make the story come more to life”.  This is part of the reason Doug has always been one of the most engaging and funniest people I have ever met: he knows how to employ his entire body in drawing you in to his words, which are also carefully chosen.  There have been many candidates I have applied solid (common) interview tips that have said all the right things and bored me to tears.  Think Ben Stine doing a Louse C.K bit.

Additional Doug tips on being aware of your facial expressions, and matching the expression to the statement:

1)      “It sounds hokey, but rehearse in front of a mirror” to be able to see your facial expressions.  Once you have the lines down and are able to riff a bit off them, the next step is to learn how to run through them while simultaneously focusing on your facial features.  Rehearsing in a mirror forces you to learn this skill.

2)      Try out different combinations of facial expressions and syncopation.  “You need to have different combinations you can pull out”, Doug says, “One chick may not have the same sense of humor as another, or may be prone to interrupting.  If she interrupts you, it may be because she doesn’t like what you are saying, or it could just be she isn’t reading a ‘dramatic’ pause as well as another one may”.  In an interview, you might be faced with a hard-ass, humorless void of a person, or someone easy going.  It makes sense to have a version of yourself for each.

Interview Tips Can Come From Anywhere

Career advice and finance blogs tend to shy away from applying tips aimed towards non-professional endeavors. Not only is this boring, but it’s a huge oversight.  More often than not, people who have sex more often earn more than those who do not.  We are wired to desire sex, and since sex is intimately linked to feelings of rejection or success it is therefore a direct contributor to our overall self-confidence.  This is why I learned so much about impressing strangers from people like Doug, and why those lessons have transferred to great interviews from applying all the above interview tips.  Doug pulled women above his “expected grade” because he figured out how to present himself in the best possible light and entertain no matter the audience, possibly why he has done well in the local night life scene (professionally, too).  If you figure out the same, you too can pull jobs above your “expected grade”.  Just don’t forget to buy me a drink when you land that next big gig.

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About Mitchell Pauly

Mitchell Pauly is a humorist, financial professional and entrepreneur. Follow him @Snarkfinance, and be sure to check out his website- Snarkfinance.com. You can learn more about him by visiting his Google+ profile.

Comments

  1. These are great tips. I feel like I’m just the worst interviewee. When potential employers ask me what I think my weaknesses are, I always want to say “interviewing. No, really. Please just call my references and let them gush.” I started to notice body posture and facial expressions a lot more when I did several Skype interviews and watched several videos on how to nail them. I never realized how unnatural it feels to stare into the camera, but if you look at the screen, you look like you’re looking down the whole time. I think that kind of woke me up to how sometimes feeling a little uncomfortable comes across a lot better than doing what comes naturally.
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